i gave you everything. literally everything except my life. then when i said, hey can you give me something or i’ll leave, you didn’t ask why or try to stop me you said goodbye and holy good god damn fuck the fact that you’re doing fine and i’m living in an empty apartment, sleeping on an air mattress, and have no friends is absolutely your fault and i will never forgive myself for allowing myself to give you so much of me.
there are pieces of me gone that i will never get back, that you took from me, and that will never change and now i have to live with it.
so there’s this super cute guy that lives close(ish) that i talk to on jack’d and sometimes he stays online but just stops replying but i really want to get to know him but im really paranoid that he may not be that into me and that makes me sad.
i just had kind of a meltdown in the parking garage at ikea so that’s how my life is going
reconstructing your life after a failed relationship is tough. especially when that relationship ended with you selling most of your furniture and leaving several of your smaller things behind.
i quite literally have nothing, atm and having to start entirely over is intimidating.
sometimes bad things happen and you feel bad about it because it just happens and you are powerless and hopelessly weak to stop the winds of change.
the fact that i spend so much time in the larry tag and my boyfriend:
2. doesn’t judge me for it
3. hasn’t left me yet
that’s true love.
mark just rolled over in bed and almost punched the shit out of me in his sleep and i said whooooa because it caught me by surprise and then i told him he’s been in the middle of the bed all night and he insists he wasn’t as it he were consciously aware of where he was while he was unconscious.
you know it’s true love when your boyfriend doesn’t break up with you while you shove your index finger into his armpit while singing happy trails in broken melody.
why is it so confusing to the gay community that my boyfriend and i are monogamous like i did not move 900 miles to fuck someone else.
i would say i’m a pretty lucky guy.
mark and i are literally just laying in bed together looking at steam punk and adventure time and nightmare before christmas things on etsy and it’s awesome.
so today i drove twelve and a half hours from louisiana to north carolina and now i’m here and i’m delirious and i need some jesus or some coffee or something, i don’t know it’s a lot of conflicting feels.